Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Why am I still working?

I keep hearing how the USA rocks and I believe it compared to a bunch of 3rd world countries, but right now what I know is a lot of countries would pay for their big old preggo residents to stay home during their last few weeks before delivery and then pay them to stay home for some time after they have the baby. My memory is a joke, so I cant tell you which is which, but I have a dutch friend, who told me all kinds of cool things about their maternity policies, and I've heard good things about Canada and France. I will be working until this kid busts out, and then back to work within a month. I can't afford to do anything else. I will try to bring her to work with me at first and I think my bosses will be okay with that.

Today I followed up on the kidney issue - Violet has some extra fluid on one of her kidneys, not too too much, but more than they like, so today, a month after they found that, I had another ultrasound. The fluid is still there and about the same quantity. They are still optimistic and say it will likely correct itself and for now they plan on giving her an ultrasound a week after she is born and possibly some antibiotics because she will be more prone to get a UTI. Fluid on the kidneys is a Down's Syndrome marker BTW.

They checked her size again. at 37 weeks (Friday) she should be around 6.5 lbs. She measured at 9 lbs 3 oz today. HA! I'm told she could possibly gain another 3 lbs in the next 3 weeks! HA! HA! It would be nice if my OB would cut her out a little sooner than July 7th.

Lately I've been feeling a little less annoyed. I've even been feeling pretty lucky to have Mark in my life. Not that I haven't always loved him, but damn everything was so frickin irritating for a while! He is really good to me and puts up with my shit day after day. He is a good dad to Sadie and does what he can to help me now that I am pretty much disabled.

I am looking forward to being able to be active. I wonder how I'll feel about that once my pelvis heals up. I hope I have the energy and willpower to help myself feel healthier.

I have gained 30 lbs so far - well 34 last visit but I was really swollen and I'm less so now, but okay lets say 34 lbs since I'm sure it will be up there by Friday. Anyway, That's pretty average and my OB is pleased with my weight and BP and all of that.

The Dr. at the ultrasound lab today gave me my first little lecture about eating better so the kid doesn't get bigger. She asked me if I was diabetic and I said no, my family just has big babies. She proceeded to tell me to avoid refined flour/sugar and you know, basically go on a diet for the next 3 weeks. LOL!!! What is that suppose to help? She's already big and will likely gain another 2 lbs whether I diet or not. My friend gained 70 lbs and had a 8.5 lb baby. I gained 30 (all water and baby - lost it all in 2 weeks) w Sadie and she was 10 lb 12 oz - nearly 11 lbs and a week early. If you don't want me feeding her any more cherry Slurpee's by all means cut her out today. Sadie was big all around and every part of her - head/length/weight was all around the 99th percentile. She's still in the 90's for everything, and wearing 3T clothes at 25 months - and she never drinks Slurpee's.

My thinking changed a bit yesterday. I've been thinking that this pregnancy will never end since October. Yesterday I really realized that I am at the end. Even if I have to wait another 3 weeks it's gonna be over soon and it could be over tonight for all I know. Time to pack the bag!

I can't wait to hold my baby.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Catch up time

I don't have much of interest to say, but I'll say it anyway.

I am 36 weeks pregnant this week. That's out of 40 weeks for those of you who are not familiar with the time line of making babies. My C-section was scheduled for July 3rd, which is 23 days from today. I was told last week that the date was moved up to July 7th, 3 days before the 40 week mark, because of the Independence Day holiday. Fuckers. So now I feel the need to control this pregnancy and make her come earlier. There are a lot of old wives tales...

  • sex - sperm softens the cervix and fem orgasm releases some chemicals that help.
  • driving on bumpy roads - my gramma told me that one - I said "is that what they used to call sex back in your day gramma?" She ignored me. lol
  • Castor oil - my OB said this is the only remedy that he believes can work, aside from sex, but whether it works or not you're gonna shit your brains out and a most uncomfortable way. IDK if I can drink the stuff.
  • Evening Primrose Oil - I've read a bit about it and a good friend said it worked for her. I have the gel caps and take one a day orally for now - I am not quite ready to have her yet. At week 38 I will insert them directly where I need them to work.
  • Walking - I can't do this. I still need a car seat/stroller and a bassinet and can't yard sale because of the pain in my pelvis. I can't even make it around the grocery store without causing pain and misery.
  • Spicy foods - dunno - something about some spices working chemically w your body, but also a couple bowls of spicy hot chili prob works like the Castor oil.
On the other hand - I should be enjoying this pregnancy. This will be the last, as I am getting my tubes tied while I'm already sliced open. 2 is plenty for someone who is almost 38. I should let her come when she is ready (or the 7th) so that I know she will be strong and healthy. I should appreciate the fact that she is healthy and stop thinking of myself and my pain - it's temporary.

I can't help but worry about her in there though. She has barely moved in the last few days and it's concerning me. She was moving so much it really hurt and now just a little bump or a couple hiccups and that's it. I listen to her heart on the doppler now just to relax for a couple hours before I start worrying again. If she was in my arms I would know she was OK. I know she has limited space and can't move as much as before, but it went from crazy movements to nothing.

I gained 30 pounds. sigh. Last time I gained 30 for the whole pregnancy, but most of it was water and it was all gone after 2 weeks. This time I'm hardly swollen. I actually look forward to being more active though. I can't even walk around the block right now. I am stuck sitting in my house while there is disorganization and things to DO all over the place. I can't stand how piled up my bedroom is. I can't stand how much CRAP is everywhere and in the strangest places. Mom works like a frickin slave around my house, thank god, but I want to do stuff myself and put stuff where it belongs, not just out of the high traffic areas.

I hate asking people to do things for me. I hate asking mom or Mark to get me something from the fridge. I used to be independent. I used to be strong. Now I am tired and weak and worry that everything I do will make the pain in my pelvis worse.

I go to physical therapy every week. It doesn't help as far as I can tell. I have seen a different therapist every visit and none of them know what to do with me. I tell them what to do now and what I won't do. They know how to help repair/strengthen the pelvis, but not on a very pregnant woman who can't lay on her back or stomach and cant lift her legs independently. One insisted I do some exercises on my back - drawing my legs up, and I bawled like a baby by the end of it because it hurt my lower back so much that I couldn't move. I told her twice it was a bad idea. That's when I decided they did NOT know best. Now I just encourage them to work on my lower back and they seem relieved to have something to do. Today I'm gonna talk them in to working on my neck - it's getting tight on one side and if it charlie horses up like it does sometimes I'll be extra miserable for a week until it relaxes.

I'm off to run a work errand and will stop across the street to let my asian friend wax my eyebrows. This is possibly the most painful thing I do to myself while pregnant. It hurts my skin so much I feel like blood should be gushing out when she's done. I could pluck, but that hurts too and takes a lot longer. I must be brave.