Thursday, June 26, 2008
My cuz had a bash for her son's high school graduation last Saturday. I went with Mark and we took Sadie after her nap until it was time for her to get ready for bed and then I intended on drinking to the point of not sober when we went back and succeeded.
I have to plan for this. That's something they don't tell you when you are thinking about having a kid - you have to work at getting drunk. You see, I can't stay out late because I have to get up early with the kid and doing so with a hangover really sucks. The last time I drank through sobriety was March 8th. The night I met Mark. I learned the best method was to show up, slam a bunch of shots, sip on a drink or 2 then slam water so I can be home at a decent time with no hangover. Oh, and eat a pb&j when I get home. It worked for me last Saturday at this party. I am way off topic here.
We left at a decent time... midnightish. Around 2am my brothers got in to it.
Jesse is a masochist (he probably does not know this).
Aaron just earned his green belt in Tai Kwan Do and apparently has some anger issues.
Jesse is 5'10" 140 lbs soaking wet.
Aaron is 6'3" 220 lbs.
I was very pissed when I learned that Aaron beat the shit out of Jesse.
Jesse lives in my house, in the basement apartment. I saw the damage and god dammit I was pissed. His ribs were bruised from arm pit to waist. His eye was black. He has bruises and scratched all over him. He was bleeding out of his right ear. His dead fathers wedding band was ripped off of his neck and his earrings were ripped out of his ears - all gone.
Aaron says he is not going to drink any more. This is not the first scene he caused. He gets drunk and all melodramatic. Jesse got in the way and wouldn't back off. He needs to back off the alcohol too. Stupid idiots. I'll kick Aaron's ass if he does this again. Kicking Jesse's ass would satisfy some fucked up need of his.
They BOTH need therapy.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I ordered the furniture on Sunday afternoon. They told me they could have it at that location on Tuesday. I told them I could arrange a pick-up on Wednesday. I ran home and started a 3-4 day rush job to have the room cleared and painted before Wednesday after work. They called on Tuesday to tell me the bedroom set was in. Mom thanked them and told them we would be there tomorrow, Wednesday. I was up until after 1am working on the bedroom, but still had more work to do.
My excitement was carrying me through the hard work of painting 3 layers of three no four different paints over old dingy paint. I left work at noon Wednesday to finish the room, because I wanted everything to be PERFECT! Woo Hoo! A couple friends came over to help touch up and then I was done. Early even! I put the new sheets on the bed and Mark vacuumed. I washed the windows. It was almost time!!
I am sooo impatient, and I had to wait until 5pm for Maxx to come over with the truck. Maxx was held up 'till 5:30, and that 1/2 hour was torture lemme tell ya. Everything came together - I got Maxx, he had a truck, my brother was not working that night and was ready to go and I had Mark with me. We all jumped in 2 cars and went to pick up my furniture WOO HOO!
Fuckers closed their doors for the day for "inventory". Understand there were no cars in the parking lot. Maybe "inventory" was being done at the nearest fucking bar, I dunno. There was a hand written note one the door saying closed Wednesday. Will be open tomorrow. Tomorrow when nothing is going to come together. I wanted to throw a rock through their god damned window.
I was so pissed but I was also kinda crushed. I was sad. I was disappointed. I feel like I was set up. I had to go home and look at that empty room. I lost a 1/2 day of pay to do something I could have done that night. I felt like this always happens and I should never get excited. I know I should never get excited, because something always goes wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself and CRUSHED is a good word. All of my enthusiasm was gone. I don't get enthusiastic very often. And those assholes at TEC killed it in me.
I'm not trying to be a big baby. But I was so frickin happy! The let down hurt. I would have been happy staring in to space for the rest of the night and trying not to cry. Mark was there with me and attempted to cheer me up. I'm sure he said something that would probably make him feel better, like "at least you didn't get sprayed with bear piss", but I was still sad. Is that over the top? Am I supposed to ALWAYS take things in stride? I usually do, but then I usually go through my day without strong emotions, so whats there to be upset about?
Today Maxx was home, and his friend was with him and my brother didn't have to go to work until 5, so I grabbed an empty van from work picked everyone up and got the furniture. It looks nice. Big fucking deal. I think that SUCKS!! Why can't I feel enthusiastic again? I got the furniture! It's in my room. Everything is in it's place, except for the bedding, which is coming the 26th. I just wanna get it over with now. Bah. I have to get all of my stuff back in my room tonight. Maybe I will enjoy it. blah.
Monday, June 16, 2008
My Christmas present from mom was paint to refinish my room and a bedding set. The paint has been sitting underneath a pile of random crap for months. I had no motivation to do anything with it. We just picked up sheets a couple weeks ago and I just need a cover to match the paint.
My mom and I went to TEC furniture, who are going out of business. I saw a bedroom set that I love and would look awesome in my room, once it is cleaned up. It was a great price and even though I feel kinda guilty spending moms money, she offered and I said yes!
For the first time EVER, I will have a new bedroom set.
Mark came over on his "lazy Sunday" and helped me paint the first coat on my room last night. Earlier yesterday I cleared my room. I bagged up 3 bags of clothes I don't wear. I put a bunch of stuff in boxes for a flea market we are going to work at the end of this month. I am so happy! My room is going to be nice. It's going to be Sadie proofed. It's going to MATCH. We are picking up the furniture Wednesday. I will take pics of the finished product. Woo hoo!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
There is a song playing in my head at all times. Any song does not usuall say in my head for more than a day. Sometimes I don't know the words. Sometimes it is a song that I recently discovered I liked. When I find a song I really dig I like to play it over and over, mostly because the real version is better than my version, plus the real version doesn't have to make up the words. So seriously. I play the song over and over. Like on repeat in my car for a long ride and every ride for a week, until my inner jukebox is sick of the song and will play something else. Is that normal?
Lemme see if I can attach the song that is currently torturing me. It makes me bounce!!!:
Thank-you for your concern. We do not decide what the aquariums have in them. We pay a great deal of money to have a company come out and take care of them. They have the say so on what they want in there. I don;t know how long you were coming in here, but we had several sharks and other sea creatures that all died, and we are unable to replace them do to the extream cost of over a $1000.00 a shark. It is not a gimmick to bring in business because we have had them for 4 years now and not one person has said that is why they came in here. I wish a few plants would drum up business.
Wow. They are obviously too retarded to take care of those tanks. I'm not going to reply, because it is a waste of time but... they don't have a say?? They PAY someone don't they? The people taking their money REFUSES to let the tanks look nice? They pay someone to care for the creatures, and when the animals die they have to pay again to buy live ones? They have NO CHOICE? How... what... I don't... ???? Is that possible? Is there blackmail involved or something? I think I established why no one says they come for the tanks. This person is an idiot and said NOTHING that made sense. It was defensive drivel.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Ok, well, she's already a month older, but I wanted to wait on the portrait pics.
Sadie is now a walker and talker, and of course a genius. She took her first steps before her birthday and was walking soon after. She says a handful of words. He newest one is EAT (eesh).
Sadie is still going to school 4 days while I am at work and especially likes Mrs. Ciciley. She spends Wednesdays with Aunty Tana and Kevin, Christopher and Jason. They love to spend time with her and feed her. I think they like to feed her a whole bunch cause she really loads her diaper up Wednesday nights.
Sadie likes to eat what mommy eats. She always steals my toast in the morning. Gramma would like to feed her cookies for breakfast every morning, but Sadie knows better. Sadie does not like beans of any kind cooked in any way. Works for me. She toots enough. She has discovered farting and burping is funny. She burped and got a reaction, so she forced another one and threw up instead. I about peed myself laughing so hard.
I think she may get her first haircut this weekend. See the pics and tell me if you agree!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Mark and I got to bed around 1 am. I forgot to wear a snore strip, and I don't even know if he noticed. I didn't! We spent the last minutes of the night reviewing who we wouldn't "kick out of bed for eating crackers". I appreciate Mark's taste for the most part. There was a couple disturbing ones, but hey, who am I to judge? I would do James Taylor and Tom Hanks!
Yesterday I went to a viewing of a friends father. Everyone was doing well and they had it together. Today was the funeral. Everyone was not so good. Harold will be missed dearly by his family. I am not one to show emotions, especially crying. I know if you feel like crying you should, so I try not to do what I can do... like put my mind elsewhere 'till the feeling passes. The 5 year old grand daughter who went up to say a few words about how much she loved her papa got me and then another grandchild, Christopher who is 25, asked his papa to take care of his mom who passed 3 years ago. Dammit. Doesn't that fucking suck? They are a close family and have felt a lot of loss. How can you not cry for them?
So, the message for today is be good, and love, and express your love. Bah... pussies.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
My procedure, the colonoscopy, was lame. I mean I knew it would suck and it did, but the one good thing I was told to look forward to was the drugs.
I did my share of psychidelics in college. I smoked my share of weed 'till I started getting paranoid from it years ago. I liked drugs. I like to alter my state of mind. I don't do it anymore because I'm older and wiser and it just doesn't fit in to my lifestyle anymore. Plus I need to keep the few brain cells left. I used to say I was only killing off the weak ones, but I think maybe I started saying that after I killed some important ones!
So - I was looking forward to an altered state of mind. Free even! They gave me something, which did a bunch of nothing and some benadryl, which made me a little sleepy. Fuckers. I watched my innards on t.v. and THAT was cool, but I don't know that it was worth fasting for 33 hours while I "clensed" my intestines. I think I kept as positive as I could thru the whole thing. I told Mark to eat... the man should not lose any weight if he can help it, and I also suggested that we not hang out while I was fasting. I was a little irritable with mom, and think I made a wise decision by keeping Mark away.
Here is what they found of interest:
Yeppers - thats me!