Miss Violet

First of all let's discuss her middle name. There have been no epiphanies, and Mark and I disagree. He would like to see Violet Marie, or Violet Louise I like Violet Skye. Look, there's a good chance she's going to be an "interesting" person - and I think the name will fit. Skye is different for me as I like more traditional names, but I just like the way it sounds. I refuse to give her a common boring name like Marie (how Spanish is that anyway?!) or Ann, or Lynn... Grace is okay. Anyone got my back here? Convince Mark for me - he thinks it sounds too "fake hippy". I feel like we both have to agree... on what I like! :P

Today I am 32 weeks, 5 days pregnant. We had an ultrasound this morning. The tech was cool, and the waiting room was empty, so we had a great session, including 3D!!!!! I always ask and they always say no. He decided to do it before I asked. Here she is:


She should weigh around 4 lbs, but was estimated to be close to 6 lbs - over the 97th percentile, just like Sadie. Sadie was 10 lbs 12 oz and even induced a little early. She is head down now, as suspected, because I swear I felt her turn this weekend. She was sideways on Sunday. Everything looked great on her, except for some minor fluid on one of her kidneys. I really don;t know what they were talking about, but I know that the average measurement is 7, she is 9 on one, but it's not a red flag until it reaches 11. They said they see it every day, and more often than not it's a non issue. We get to see out girl on June 17th to look at it again. I have had so many ultrasounds this pregnancy!

I love watching her move. Doesn't she already look like a plump perfect little baby? I swear she already looks like Sadie too. It would be nice if the girls resembled each other despite having different fathers. My 2 brothers and I all look like our 3 different fathers and that's kind of lame.

Anything else? Due date is July 10th, C-section is scheduled for July 3rd, first appointment of the day. I would love to go in to labor before that, but we'll see. Just a week before. I'm going to try the old wives tales options. Lots of sex and spicy food. I can't walk her out because my pelvis is causing me considerable pain. I am officially uncomfortable most of the time now, even when sleeping. I am actually in considerable pain when I move my pelvis, as it is too loose and grinds on itself. Mark pushed me to my appt. in a wheel chair this morning. There is no way I could have walked the mile to the U/S place from the parking garage. I can't handle grocery shopping anymore. I got a temporary handicap permit for my car and I'll be damned if I can ever find an open handicapped spot! How did it happen? Seems like I used to see tons open and I would think what a waste of space - when are there going to be 30 people in wheelchairs in Target at the same time?? Fooled me.

Time for me to wish I could nap at work.

another pity party

I don't really want to talk to anyone about my mood. I don't know how much of my emotions are effected by hormones and how much of my life is making me just this miserable. Did I mention I needed a vacation??

Sadie does not like her newest daycare teacher. For the first time in over a year I saw her at the door crying - anguished - pulling away from the teacher and crying mommy mommy mommy...
I sat there for a minute and then left. It really broke my heart to leave her like that, but that's what I felt was right. If I went to her then she would do it every day. If she still does it every day then I will tell the center and take her somewhere else. She should love her daycare and her teachers. She should be sad to leave at the end of the day. I called the center a little later, after my own sobbing subsided, to ask her what Sadie was crying about and she said "mommy". She said she stopped after I left. I don't like her either. She's not affectionate or maternal and I don't know that I've ever seen her smile.

What the hell... I'm a mess.