I am having an illogical day. Stupid hormones do that to me sometimes. I just got back from the OB and he said everything looked great. I will get another ultrasound at 32 weeks to determine where my placenta is, since it may be in the way of delivery, but I've already decided I'm having a repeat c-section, so I'm not concerned. My blood pressure seems a little better than usual - 110/60. normally its 120/70. Weird considering there's more stress on my body right now.
So he says "everything looks great, your blood pressure is good, you're weight is good..." meanwhile I have wanted to cry since I was weighed. I know it's stupid. I'm supposed to gain weight. 10 pounds at 21 weeks is on track. This is what I would tell any pregnant friend who gained weight whole pregnant - you're supposed to gain weight stupid - you'd be a bad mom if you went on a frickin diet.
But... I'm already so fat. I was at the highest weight of my life when I got pregnant and there's nothing I can do to stop this right now. I am embarrassed to say it, but this pregnancy is going to put me over 300 pounds. That's what is really getting to me. I can't be that fat. It is so humiliating to be that fat. That number is so bad I can't even make fun of it.
I'm going to start smoking again. This kid is too big anyway.
Test post
1 year ago
2 comments:
I am sorry. :(
I know how you feel... I have never been this big either. When baby comes out we'll have to start working out together.
But really, no matter what number the scale is you're still beautiful. :)
Don't get so down on yourself. Just try to keep positive. Once the baby is born, make Mark watch the kids while you go work out! Smoking won't help you or the little one!!!! Just hang in there... it'll be over soon. *hugs*
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