Week 1 done!

It's been a week since I proclaimed my diet intentions. At work I stuck with a bagel w/light cream cheese most mornings. Lunch was turkey sandwiches, with tiny pickles and fat free Pringles. Fridays is eat out day at work and I had 4 slices of pizza, which I felt pretty guilty about. I ordered just pineapple though, so the fat was reduced and the sandwiches were pretty low fat, with Franks Red Hot dumped on them to make me drink more water. I hate drinking water when I'm not thirsty. I drank a LOT of water every day, but according to one website not enough according to my weight.
Anyway, I did pretty well during the work week and by the Friday I had lost 3 lbs.
Friday night we had the lasagna I made for Marks birthday, which was also considerably healthier than I used to make it, but still pretty damned good.
The weekend I thought was going to wash out the pounds I lost during the week. I had cake Friday, and drinks at the bar and 2 slices of pizza at the after party. Saturday and Sunday I felt like I ate a lot and didn't drink that much water. I weighed** in this morning another pound lighter, so I lost 4 lbs last week. Pretty cool.

**As I was writing that I was called to a meeting where the owner told me I had to lay my assistant off - she is also my cousin and very good friend. I hate this place. At least I don't feel like eating breakfast now.

Setting goals

Oy oy oy. I gotta set some goals.

So, my goal is to lose 94 lbs by mid April.

That will bring my BMI down to just under 30%.

That is 3 lbs a week, for 32 weeks.

That is a tough goal, but shit, even if I only lose 1 lb a week I'll be down 32 lbs, and that's better than gaining.

The way I will achieve this goal:

Drink lots of water. No less than 5 16.9 oz bottles a day. This is not that hard, even though I don't like to drink when I don't feel thirsty and it makes ALL the difference.

Exercise every day is some way. I can walk if nothing else, and if the weather is inclement I can do some exercises in the house. I will print up a 30 minute routine for home. I can also take advantage of those stupid on-demand shows on cable. I will allow yoga to replace cardio exercises 2 days a week. I can't wait till snow season. Shoveling snow is my favorite workout!

Eat healthy food and severely reduce fast food intake. There just aren't many healthy options when I eat out and the portions are too big. I will buy food for the work week and I will eat it at work, no matter if the others eat out. I will ask mom to help with these goals by cooking low fat dinners, which she already does pretty well. I will allow 1-2 snacks a day, but only very low in fat and only after I drink a bottle of water.

Keep a food log, including what is eaten, when, and the calorie and fat content. I will also log my weight gain/loss.

You know, I feel like such a failure and I feel like such a fool trying AGAIN. Why even bother fooling myself that I am serious. Why write this down publicly, just to fail publicly. I don't know - for some reason I still have hope.

I has Kittens

I was getting ready to go to out last night when I heard my mom yelling from outside "Kim, come quick!". I ran outside into the rain, thinking she found a hurt raccoon in our garbage can or something, but instead saw he pulling a soaking wet kitten through the fence. The kitten immediately snuggled to mom. I heard another kitten, so I ran into the jungle of my neighbors back yard and grabbed another one. This one was also soaked and dirty - and spitting! I rubbed it's chin for a minute and it relented.

So, now we have 2 wild kittens that were in the rain with no momma in sight. Mom says maybe we should put them back. I was thinking something must have been wrong if they were out in the rain alone, so I brought them in the house. They cleaned up well and are adorable, of course. They seem to be about 4 weeks old - 5 at the most. They have some teeth and like to play. I will care for them for a couple weeks, then find good homes for them - to people who can afford to fix them.

The lady two doors down feeds the feral cats. Now, instead of couple roaming the neighborhood, like a few years ago, there's like 20. I say if you love cats and worry about their well being, fix them. She's gonna have 40 cats next year. Eventually she's gonna stop feeding them, and then there's gonna be a LOT of dead cats in this neighborhood.

I have dreams about kittens. I LOVE kittens. This is cool! I wish I could keep them.

Hurricane Ike

I am fascinated with Ike, as it rolls in to Texas. I think I am especially interested because I have some online friends who live in it's path. Christine lives 1/4 mile from the coast and another lives in or near Houston. Christine evacuated yesterday, leaving a business that opened just a couple weeks ago.

I have always gotten a kick out of the power of nature, and I don't think Ike will disappoint me. I found some webcams in Galveston that were pretty cool, but they went offline late this morning. I am frequenting www.weather.com here at work and watching the video. I love watching people try to give reports in high winds and heavy rain! I love destruction (as long as it's not my stuff)! Everything short of people getting hurt is so cool to watch! How lucky am I to live in a time where we can watch hurricanes land?

I'm going home and turning on the weather channel.

P.S. - we had a frickin plague of flying ant things in our neighborhood yesterday. the grass sparkled with their wings. WTF?

9/11

I think back to September 11th, 2001, often. Not like an obsession, but....

I don't know how it changed anyone else, but for me it made me realize that the sense of security was false and anything could happen any time. Just like the way my car accident taught me that your life can be altered in 2 seconds of shocking metal crunching, the terrorist attack taught me that it can happen here, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was in Boston that day, close to the airport. I felt very vulnerable. It could have been worse. We are lucky that our lives have gone back to normal.

Oh yeah, 9/11 also made me feel patriotism. I suddenly felt like a small part of a greater whole, The United States of America. I wanted to fly a flag, not because everyone was doing it, but because the flag meant something to me for the first time.

I don't know what I can do about those events 7 years ago, but I remember and mourn the lives lost, and the innocence lost that day. I also say thank you to the people who are keeping me as safe as they can.

Some Funny Shit Right Here

Give it a minute. It'll grow on you. Enjoy!!

Republicans

Hrm.

I watched Sarah Palin last night, and John McCain tonight. Palin is... charming, tho her voice could get on my nerves. McCain was not as good of a public speaker as Palin, but I liked what they both had to say. I appreciated the fact that McCain didn't pretend that the republicans did well these past eight years. He implied by telling us all of the things that he will not do. He led me to believe that he is a humble man, partially due to is POW days, and who doesn't respect POW's fur cryin out loud.

I watched Obama as well. I did not see his VP. He was also charming and said some things I liked.

So, are they full of shit like all of the other politicians that I have given the time to listen to, believed in them, only to be disappointed later?

Now I'll have to keep an eye out for the debates. Right now I am leaning towards McCain. I just don't want to choose wrong, you know? Does my vote count for shit? I don't really know, but I still take it seriously. Crap. I hate politics. A LOT.

Change

Well, life will be changing again. Change is usually good, as it is in this case, but I will be missing Mark. Mark is starting his school year today. He will have classes/labs 6 days a week. He will also be working, and on top of homework I will see much less of him. I am very happy! No, not because I will be sleeping alone again, but because he is doing something that will ultimately make his life better.

I have no idea if this change is going to impact our relationship while he is going to school, but I am assuming it will. I think we should get through it just fine and come early May he will have his degree and then who knows what changes will come.

Congratulations Mark - and good luck! MMMMmmmwah!