Every legal citizen of the United Stated, carrying a valid drivers license and who has a perfect driving record for the past five years should be allowed to carry a gun - a paint gun. Whenever you see an idiot doings something idiotic on the road that directly effects you, like not turning left on a green fucking turn arrow, you should be allowed to shoot them once. With permanent paint. OK, so then what? Well I figure after a car has say 10 spots on their car we should be allowed to shoot them with a real gun with a real bullet. Thin the heard. I mean really. Breeding of idiots is getting out of hand. I drove a mile to CVS and could have shot 5 people. Pay a fucking tention people.
And then there's CVS. Do you know the lady (idiot) wouldn't start scanning my stuff till I gave her my CVS card? I told her I had one somewhere and to go ahead while I find it and she stood there. I said can't you ring me up before I give you my card? She said NO. Come the fuck on. And then I had to wait for a long line of coupons. She said OOH, you've got coupons and then handed me a 6 foot receipt. If this frickin CVS card is so dang important why doesn't it have the coupons on it? Who's running the show there? IDIOTS. So, maybe we need to mark these people too. A big black sharpie. She would have had a big X on her forehead by the end of our transaction.
I'm really pretty level headed. I swear.
It's just
driving
with the idiots
gets to me.
7 comments:
My girlfriend entertains homicidal fantasies and ideations.
Cool.
One time, I was with a mutual friend of ours, and we saw a fancy new Lexus SUV parked across TWO spaces. Intentionally, not just like hasty parking job stuff. And the Lexus wasn't even that big. And it was a crowded day, and they were hogging a close space.
So one of the people in our party took some gum and jammed it under the drivers door handle. You know, not defacing the car or anything, just sending out an "asshole" message. Immature? Maybe. But it certainly gave us all a feeling of social justice.
YES! I agree!!!
A few years ago I came up with a similar idea. The job was called "The Enforcer". It consists of a person driving around in a car and just observing. If someone does something stupid then the Enforcer pulls them over, takes the person out of their car and proceeds to beat the shit our of them with a baseball bat.
I think it is a good idea, as is your paint gun idea.
why can't you just accept people as they are :) :) :)
goddess, i slay me
anyway you stole the paint gun idea from me - only i want to fill it with chocolate pudding so that people thought i was flinging poo at them
remember the time i started chucking quarters at the car next to me (i know you don't - that was rhetorical)
Flinging pudding, placing gun under the handle, shit beating and throat ripping... good to know I'm not alone in my need for retribution. Yes, I do recall the quarter flinging story! :P
I actually think we should be allowed to carry tattoo needles. Whenever someone does something stupid, we should be allowed to hold them down and tattoo one letter on their forehead. Or maybe the arm. Or back. Like, say, "A". Then the next guy they piss off tattoos an "S". And it goes on and on until someone has finished the word "Asshole".
That'll teach them.
Tattoo ink is expensive though.
I guess the paintball idea is better.
I need more coffee.
I keep bright orange stickers in my car that I got from a job I had at a parking garage for people like them. They are hell to get off and everyone can see you are too stoopid to read 'no parking' signs.
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