Sunday, January 18, 2009

"they could pretent they're bad blacks"

So, nice houses are selling in Detroit for nothing or next to nothing. My mother just interrupted my musings on how to punish my asshole boyfriend to say that she wished she could buy one of those houses and I suggested we should buy a few blocks of Detroit and have safety in numbers. Then mom said that the good blacks would probably like to move in around our white neighborhood. I said oh yeah sure they could hide the whites from the gangstas. Then mom said we would be a little safer because they (good blacks) could pretend they're bad blacks.

Any suggestions on how to passive aggressively punish my boyfriend for waking me up 4 times? The 4th time he allowed Sadie to yell outside my door because "he was sleepy" even though he slept in and was supposed to be allowing me some sleep after waking me up 3 times. I need to get this aggression out some way. I wish I could shovel, but it really fucks my back up and it's hard to recover. God, I am so tired and angry.

Anyway, we like to have fun with inappropriate conversations from time to time.

That makes me think of my sweet neighbor Cindy. She is black, as is 90 percent of my neighborhood. One day she told me that she had to get out of this neighborhood because "it was getting too dark". I laughed my ass off! She was serious!

So, is anyone interested in buying a house next to us in Detroit? Black or white or whatever color of course, you just need to keep your house and lawn up. Gay would be fabulous, as I'm told they did a terrific job with San Francisco. You might want to bring a big dog or gun or something with you, though I don't think there would be that much trouble. I lived in the middle of cracktown Kansas City, and no one messed with us... I think they thought if we lived there we must be nuts and people don't like to mess with nuts.

3 comments:

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

Eeesh.

I really am sorry. That doesn't make it better...

Andrea said...

Oh Kim.
How I feel for you.

No I do not want to buy a house in Detroit! Now with working in Ann Arbor. And the schools. And driving there is a bitch.

cassdawn said...

so i already wrote a very lengthy response to this and it apparently was sucked away by the ether. i shall try to paraphrase.

house in detroit - if i thought that market was EVER going to come back . . . but it ain't.

boyfriend - yep.

what i mean is your complaint is one i have heard every woman with child(ren) everywhere complain of. carl is very good about letting me sleep but it is entirely at his convenience. should i request this . . . and really, i would tell you that the honeymoon is over but this is still the honeymoon phase because soon he won't even apologize about it.

as for retaliation. i used to spray perfume in carl's car. he hates the smell of it. i'm not suggesting the same attack just find something that annoys him. i say used to because ultimately nothing; nothing; nothing works with him. but given that carl is THE most stubborn individual on the planet maybe you will have better luck. and i have faith in your ability to annoy :)