If Jesse, my brother, ever READ MY BLOG! then he would love this one. It was our favorite show back in the day.
Paint It Black - Rolling Stones
4 months ago
Thursday, July 31, 2008
B is for Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles
I am quite excited to have found this song. I sing it to Sadie often at bath time, tho I couldn't recall how the end of the song went. Now I have it! The only bummer is that I could not find the original Sesame Street version. I'll keep an eye out.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Detroit Nastalgia
Joe C reminded me:
80's Detroit Zoo commercial
Faygo Remembers
Detroit Art Institute - I can't find the full version but this brings back some good memories:
80's Detroit Zoo commercial
Faygo Remembers
Detroit Art Institute - I can't find the full version but this brings back some good memories:
Who Hankers for a Hunk a Cheese?
They must have pleayed this one a LOT. I remembered most of the words!
Manamana
So there were two versions. I recall the latter version, but I'm gonna post them both 'cause the original is cool too.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A letter to my gramma
My fathers mother wrote me a letter:
OK, I wrote it out, but am going to delete it, because I suppose it is personal to her. I have no problem sharing my everything pretty much., but I don't know that she wold like me posting her heartfelt letter.
Basically she would like to attempt to bring my father and I back together.
Here is my response, which I can publish because it is mine. :)
I think the best way to respond to your request is to give you my point of view:
A few years ago my father gave me everything that he had related to me. Baby pictures, school pictures, and many letters from over the years. My guess of his reason of getting rid of these things was to rid himself of possessions? Maybe to live in the present? Either way I thought it was a bit odd, but ok.
I organized the letters by date and read them in order from oldest to newest. As I read those letters I began to see a pattern. In almost every letter I was reaching out to my father. I was trying to have a dad. I was begging for forgiveness sometimes about some little thing he criticized, such as my handwriting. Every letter was me reaching out and apologizing and begging and hoping to create some sort of father-daughter relationship.
I realized, now, as an adult, that I did everything I could to have a relationship with him. What did he do? Nothing. Did he reach out? Ever make himself vulnerable? No. Who was the adult?? ONE time he took me in. For a year. I believe he did it because he thought it was the best thing for me. That was the worst year of my life to date. I told him that a few years ago and told him I forgave him for it. I have forgiven him, but it doesn’t change the past.
So, after reading those letters I decided that I have tried long enough and hard enough. He had made it very clear to me that he has no interest in being my father and I am okay with that. I really am. I think it is sad and I suppose I feel a little sorry that I never had a daddy, but I have terrific uncles that love me and I can count on them. They are my father figures. They are not afraid of what I want from them. I don’t need Gary and I gotta tell you I was glad to realize that. I have no desire to get to know him better. He and I would not be friends in day to day life, so why try to get to know him? I have left it to him to reach out – which is why we have not spoken in years. It’s really becoming more entertaining to me than distressing at this point.
One time he said to me “what do you think I owe you?” I said “nothing” at the time, but you know I think as a parent, (willing or not) you do owe your child. Every parent is responsible for that life and responsible to raise that child to be the best person they can be. Every child deserves to be loved and nourished and made to feel safe. He is not a parent. I think he is lonely man who has reaped what he has sowed. I’m sorry gramma, but I don’t think he deserves my attention.
I had a hard childhood. Violence, and abuse, and neglect were common sometimes. I was poorly treated by my father, though perhaps better than my father was treated by his father. I saw horrible things and was in adrenalin inducing situations often before I lived with him. Now I am an adult and it is my choice to either learn from their mistakes or become a victim. I have chosen to be strong. I have dealt with my issues. I went to therapy. I put my daughter FIRST. I think twice about every decision I make for her. I am raising her to be the best person she can be. I really don’t think I can understand how someone cannot do that as a parent. I lost even more respect for him since I had Sadie. How could he ignore me, his only child?
Honestly, I do not wish him ill. He has his issues and I think he will always be self centered and lonely. There is nothing I can do about that. He has nothing to offer me as a father as it is too late, and he has given me no reason to like him as a person. Does he even care that he has a granddaughter? It boggles my mind, truly, that he can sit there and ignore his only granddaughter. I feel sorry for him. She is amazing.
Gramma, please do not worry about me and Gary. Well, go ahead and worry about him, as he is your son – hehe. I am happy with life, and strong. I love you. I know you are trying to help. Thank you.
Love Kim
I have not sent it yet. I think it is good and Mark said it was good. I don't want to hurt my gramma, but I gotta tell her how it is. Writing this was a bit cathartic too. I'm not surprised, but I am surprised. Anyway, I'll prob read it again in the morning and see if I still want to send it. I kinda want him to read it... should I put that in there?
Update: the letter was sent the next day. I spoke with gramma on the phone. The subject is dropped. She spoke with him and my understanding is that he is not willing to put himself out there to see me or his grandchild. I am not surprised. Drama over.
OK, I wrote it out, but am going to delete it, because I suppose it is personal to her. I have no problem sharing my everything pretty much., but I don't know that she wold like me posting her heartfelt letter.
Basically she would like to attempt to bring my father and I back together.
Here is my response, which I can publish because it is mine. :)
I think the best way to respond to your request is to give you my point of view:
A few years ago my father gave me everything that he had related to me. Baby pictures, school pictures, and many letters from over the years. My guess of his reason of getting rid of these things was to rid himself of possessions? Maybe to live in the present? Either way I thought it was a bit odd, but ok.
I organized the letters by date and read them in order from oldest to newest. As I read those letters I began to see a pattern. In almost every letter I was reaching out to my father. I was trying to have a dad. I was begging for forgiveness sometimes about some little thing he criticized, such as my handwriting. Every letter was me reaching out and apologizing and begging and hoping to create some sort of father-daughter relationship.
I realized, now, as an adult, that I did everything I could to have a relationship with him. What did he do? Nothing. Did he reach out? Ever make himself vulnerable? No. Who was the adult?? ONE time he took me in. For a year. I believe he did it because he thought it was the best thing for me. That was the worst year of my life to date. I told him that a few years ago and told him I forgave him for it. I have forgiven him, but it doesn’t change the past.
So, after reading those letters I decided that I have tried long enough and hard enough. He had made it very clear to me that he has no interest in being my father and I am okay with that. I really am. I think it is sad and I suppose I feel a little sorry that I never had a daddy, but I have terrific uncles that love me and I can count on them. They are my father figures. They are not afraid of what I want from them. I don’t need Gary and I gotta tell you I was glad to realize that. I have no desire to get to know him better. He and I would not be friends in day to day life, so why try to get to know him? I have left it to him to reach out – which is why we have not spoken in years. It’s really becoming more entertaining to me than distressing at this point.
One time he said to me “what do you think I owe you?” I said “nothing” at the time, but you know I think as a parent, (willing or not) you do owe your child. Every parent is responsible for that life and responsible to raise that child to be the best person they can be. Every child deserves to be loved and nourished and made to feel safe. He is not a parent. I think he is lonely man who has reaped what he has sowed. I’m sorry gramma, but I don’t think he deserves my attention.
I had a hard childhood. Violence, and abuse, and neglect were common sometimes. I was poorly treated by my father, though perhaps better than my father was treated by his father. I saw horrible things and was in adrenalin inducing situations often before I lived with him. Now I am an adult and it is my choice to either learn from their mistakes or become a victim. I have chosen to be strong. I have dealt with my issues. I went to therapy. I put my daughter FIRST. I think twice about every decision I make for her. I am raising her to be the best person she can be. I really don’t think I can understand how someone cannot do that as a parent. I lost even more respect for him since I had Sadie. How could he ignore me, his only child?
Honestly, I do not wish him ill. He has his issues and I think he will always be self centered and lonely. There is nothing I can do about that. He has nothing to offer me as a father as it is too late, and he has given me no reason to like him as a person. Does he even care that he has a granddaughter? It boggles my mind, truly, that he can sit there and ignore his only granddaughter. I feel sorry for him. She is amazing.
Gramma, please do not worry about me and Gary. Well, go ahead and worry about him, as he is your son – hehe. I am happy with life, and strong. I love you. I know you are trying to help. Thank you.
Love Kim
I have not sent it yet. I think it is good and Mark said it was good. I don't want to hurt my gramma, but I gotta tell her how it is. Writing this was a bit cathartic too. I'm not surprised, but I am surprised. Anyway, I'll prob read it again in the morning and see if I still want to send it. I kinda want him to read it... should I put that in there?
Update: the letter was sent the next day. I spoke with gramma on the phone. The subject is dropped. She spoke with him and my understanding is that he is not willing to put himself out there to see me or his grandchild. I am not surprised. Drama over.
Response from the Detroit Zoo
I am not going to dwell on why Mark got a response and I didn't. He used my letter and just changed a few words to personalize it to him. I am satisfied with the response, tho it is still a sad situation.
Mark:
Thank you for your email and for sharing your concern for the animals at the Detroit Zoo. I appreciate that you’ve asked about the bear you witnessed pacing, and apologize for the delay in getting back to you.
Several of the bears at the Detroit Zoo (including one of the black bears and the Syrian brown bear who lives with the black bears) have been rescued from private owners or other captive conditions that were inadequate and which, unfortunately, caused them to develop some coping behaviors, like pacing. Once they develop these behaviors they will often exhibit them periodically throughout their lives, for reasons we can’t always perceive. The Detroit Zoo’s bear habitats were built in the late 1920’s and were originally constructed of concrete. We have added natural substrate, grasses, shrubs and trees to make them more complex and appropriate environments for bears. The Zoo’s environmental enrichment program is one of the most progressive and active programs in any zoo and the bears are a priority because of the stereotypical behaviors that some of the bears demonstrate. We have an aggressive and proactive enrichment program for the bears, which includes providing them with food they must forage to find (as they would in nature) toys and other objects they can manipulate and investigate and rotation of the groups of bears among the different habitats. Bears are intelligent animals adapted to live in large complex environments, and allowing them to move among the habitats on a random (not set) schedule allows them to experience a larger “home range”. All of these things will probably not keep the bears who have developed coping behaviors in their former facilities/conditions from falling back into them at times, but we constantly monitor the bears’ activities and conditions and modify the enrichment plans to respond and adapt to the bears’ conditions.
Environmental enrichment cannot take the place of a habitat with the space and complexity these intelligent animals need, which is why plans are in place to create expansive new habitats for bears as part of the master plans for the Detroit Zoo and Belle Isle Nature Zoo. The master plan for the Belle Isle Nature Zoo includes a new, much larger habitat for black bears. Our master plans are progressive and quite ambitious, and obviously can’t be implemented all at one time due to both costs and the logistical ability to renovate everything at one time. In the meantime we are focused on making sure that the animals living here get the absolute best care possible and live in habitats that are dynamic and enriched.
Thanks, again, for your email and your concern for animals,
Scott
Mark:
Thank you for your email and for sharing your concern for the animals at the Detroit Zoo. I appreciate that you’ve asked about the bear you witnessed pacing, and apologize for the delay in getting back to you.
Several of the bears at the Detroit Zoo (including one of the black bears and the Syrian brown bear who lives with the black bears) have been rescued from private owners or other captive conditions that were inadequate and which, unfortunately, caused them to develop some coping behaviors, like pacing. Once they develop these behaviors they will often exhibit them periodically throughout their lives, for reasons we can’t always perceive. The Detroit Zoo’s bear habitats were built in the late 1920’s and were originally constructed of concrete. We have added natural substrate, grasses, shrubs and trees to make them more complex and appropriate environments for bears. The Zoo’s environmental enrichment program is one of the most progressive and active programs in any zoo and the bears are a priority because of the stereotypical behaviors that some of the bears demonstrate. We have an aggressive and proactive enrichment program for the bears, which includes providing them with food they must forage to find (as they would in nature) toys and other objects they can manipulate and investigate and rotation of the groups of bears among the different habitats. Bears are intelligent animals adapted to live in large complex environments, and allowing them to move among the habitats on a random (not set) schedule allows them to experience a larger “home range”. All of these things will probably not keep the bears who have developed coping behaviors in their former facilities/conditions from falling back into them at times, but we constantly monitor the bears’ activities and conditions and modify the enrichment plans to respond and adapt to the bears’ conditions.
Environmental enrichment cannot take the place of a habitat with the space and complexity these intelligent animals need, which is why plans are in place to create expansive new habitats for bears as part of the master plans for the Detroit Zoo and Belle Isle Nature Zoo. The master plan for the Belle Isle Nature Zoo includes a new, much larger habitat for black bears. Our master plans are progressive and quite ambitious, and obviously can’t be implemented all at one time due to both costs and the logistical ability to renovate everything at one time. In the meantime we are focused on making sure that the animals living here get the absolute best care possible and live in habitats that are dynamic and enriched.
Thanks, again, for your email and your concern for animals,
Scott
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
D&D Online Alignment Test
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/dnd/20001222b
I got the best one!
Your Character’s Alignment
Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral Good.
Neutral Good: A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. The common phrase for neutral good is "true good." Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias toward or against order.
I got the best one!
Your Character’s Alignment
Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral Good.
Neutral Good: A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. The common phrase for neutral good is "true good." Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias toward or against order.
Cool green moss
Cool green moss cool green moss cool green moss cool green moss cool green moss cool green moss. Sunset in the mountains sunrise in the mountains trees on the mountains animals on the mountains bubbling streams cool clear water cool clear water cool clear water.
I feel sick to my stomach and really stressed out.
Me crying pisses me off, so I'm not going to do that. Feeling pissed is not an emotion I want to add to this.
Work sucks. I am under valued and under paid and right now I'm over worked.
And Mark needs to bring me some flowers or something, but it's supposed to be his idea. Hmf. Oh well.
I feel sick to my stomach and really stressed out.
Me crying pisses me off, so I'm not going to do that. Feeling pissed is not an emotion I want to add to this.
Work sucks. I am under valued and under paid and right now I'm over worked.
And Mark needs to bring me some flowers or something, but it's supposed to be his idea. Hmf. Oh well.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Bipolar Spectrum Screening Questionnaire
These Are Your Bipolar Spectrum Disorder Screening Questionnaire Results
Bipolar Spectrum Disorder Screening Questionnaire
Results: the results of this psychological quiz are described below.
Total score of: 3 (0-15 Major/unipolar depression)
Individuals with total scores of 15 or less are most likely suffering from Major (unipolar) Depression. (Remember, this quiz assumes that you are 18 or over and have had at least one depression severe enough to have caused you distress and/or interfered with you functioning at home, work, school or in your interpersonal relationships.)
yeah yeah I know. But whats more depressing: being depressed for no reason or being really depressed because every sexual sensation in your body had been drugged in to a coma?
Bipolar Spectrum Disorder Screening Questionnaire
Results: the results of this psychological quiz are described below.
Total score of: 3 (0-15 Major/unipolar depression)
Individuals with total scores of 15 or less are most likely suffering from Major (unipolar) Depression. (Remember, this quiz assumes that you are 18 or over and have had at least one depression severe enough to have caused you distress and/or interfered with you functioning at home, work, school or in your interpersonal relationships.)
yeah yeah I know. But whats more depressing: being depressed for no reason or being really depressed because every sexual sensation in your body had been drugged in to a coma?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Screening
http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm
You scored a total of 5
You have answered this self-report questionnaire in such a way as to suggest that you do not likely currently suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. You should not take this as a diagnosis or recommendation for treatment in any way, though.
S C O R E S
If you scored...
12 & up OCD is likely
8 - 11 OCD is probable
0 - 7 OCD is unlikely
You scored a total of 5
You have answered this self-report questionnaire in such a way as to suggest that you do not likely currently suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. You should not take this as a diagnosis or recommendation for treatment in any way, though.
S C O R E S
If you scored...
12 & up OCD is likely
8 - 11 OCD is probable
0 - 7 OCD is unlikely
The Nerd Test
Some of these questions made me think of Marks friends... and Mark.
http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_nt2.php
Your Score Summary
For Science/Math:
72% scored higher,4% scored the same, and 24% scored lower.
For Computers/Technology:
83% scored higher,3% scored the same, and 14% scored lower.
For Sci-Fi/Comic:
61% scored higher,6% scored the same, and 33% scored lower.
For History/Literature:
88% scored higher,4% scored the same, and 8% scored lower.
For Dumb/Dork/Awkwardness:
73% scored higher,11% scored the same, and 16% scored lower.
From this time forward, you'll hold the title:
http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_nt2.php
Your Score Summary
For Science/Math:
72% scored higher,4% scored the same, and 24% scored lower.
For Computers/Technology:
83% scored higher,3% scored the same, and 14% scored lower.
For Sci-Fi/Comic:
61% scored higher,6% scored the same, and 33% scored lower.
For History/Literature:
88% scored higher,4% scored the same, and 8% scored lower.
For Dumb/Dork/Awkwardness:
73% scored higher,11% scored the same, and 16% scored lower.
From this time forward, you'll hold the title:
Cool Non-Nerd
Carry it proudly!
Carry it proudly!
ADD test results
Dr. Amen suggests: "More than 20 items with a score of three or more indicates a strong tendency toward ADD. Your total number of items with a score above three is 12.
Based on this calculation, you DO NOT HAVE a strong tendency toward ADD.
http://www.oneaddplace.com/add-test.php
Based on this calculation, you DO NOT HAVE a strong tendency toward ADD.
http://www.oneaddplace.com/add-test.php
Detroit Zoo Slideshow
Here are some pics from our July 6th, 2008 visit to the Detroit Zoo. In retrospect, I wish I has taken more pictures of US, Cassie, Carl, Malachai, Mark, Sadie, and myself, but I was concentrating on pics of the animals, thinking Kai would enjoy seeing the pics of the animals he saw during his visit. He is 2 and very smart and inquisitive. Sadie, on the other hand, has probably already forgotten our outing.
My letter to the Detroit Zoo
On Sunday, July 6th, 2008 I visited the Detroit Zoo for the first time. It was an enjoyable experience, except for the black bear exhibit. I was very upset by the repetitious pacing of one of the bears. I don't know the psychology behind the pacing, but I feel certain that that bear was disturbed. I want you to know that I had to turn away from that bear and hold back tears. My daughter did not know that there was anything wrong, but I think many of your adult guests feel as I do. Something should be done to help the bear. Either make it less miserable or send it somewhere where it can be happy, as it tainted what was otherwise a fine day with sadness.
I appreciate you taking my opinion in to consideration.
Kim Arnold
I would have taken more pics of this bear, but I seriously would have started crying. The other one was happily chewing on something in the shade. This one was on the edge of the exhibit, probably hoping every time it turned it would slip and fall in to the ditch they dug to keep him in.
I appreciate you taking my opinion in to consideration.
Kim Arnold
I would have taken more pics of this bear, but I seriously would have started crying. The other one was happily chewing on something in the shade. This one was on the edge of the exhibit, probably hoping every time it turned it would slip and fall in to the ditch they dug to keep him in.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Schizotypal Personality Questionnary (SPQ-A)
Schizotypal Personality Questionnary (SPQ-A)
http://themachine1.110mb.com/spq.html
Ideas of reference: 3 out of 9 (unsure: 1)
Excessive social anxiety: 7 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Odd beliefs or magical thinking: 0 out of 7 (unsure: 0)
Unusual perceptual experiences: 1 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd or eccentric behavior: 2.5 out of 7 (unsure: 1)
No close friends: 4 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd speech : 3.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Constricted affect: 4.5 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Suspiciousness: 1 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Total SPQ-A: 26.5 out of 74
Foiled again
I'm gonna find the procrastination quiz and see if I can ace it. I didn't get much work done today. I was very sleepy. I AM very sleepy.
I'll blog about why some other time. With some pics.
http://themachine1.110mb.com/spq.html
Ideas of reference: 3 out of 9 (unsure: 1)
Excessive social anxiety: 7 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Odd beliefs or magical thinking: 0 out of 7 (unsure: 0)
Unusual perceptual experiences: 1 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd or eccentric behavior: 2.5 out of 7 (unsure: 1)
No close friends: 4 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Odd speech : 3.5 out of 9 (unsure: 0)
Constricted affect: 4.5 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Suspiciousness: 1 out of 8 (unsure: 0)
Total SPQ-A: 26.5 out of 74
Foiled again
I'm gonna find the procrastination quiz and see if I can ace it. I didn't get much work done today. I was very sleepy. I AM very sleepy.
I'll blog about why some other time. With some pics.
What does it say about me?
What does it say about me that I can't figure out what the hell this chart is trying to tell me about myself? I took this quiz:
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
it said that I'm oh hell I closed it before I copied the info... 105 NT and 95 Aspie. It said something like I have traits of both, so I didn't get a label. :(
But... this chart. I think I get it... kinda.
A friend asked me if I had ANYTHING wrong with me, so I could consider getting disability and staying home with Sadie. I'm too damned normal for my own good! I'm gonna take a schitzo quiz next. I'll publish the results here.
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
it said that I'm oh hell I closed it before I copied the info... 105 NT and 95 Aspie. It said something like I have traits of both, so I didn't get a label. :(
But... this chart. I think I get it... kinda.
A friend asked me if I had ANYTHING wrong with me, so I could consider getting disability and staying home with Sadie. I'm too damned normal for my own good! I'm gonna take a schitzo quiz next. I'll publish the results here.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Lesser of evil topics
My other topic is fresh and annoying, but I'll refrain for now.
My cuz had a bash for her son's high school graduation last Saturday. I went with Mark and we took Sadie after her nap until it was time for her to get ready for bed and then I intended on drinking to the point of not sober when we went back and succeeded.
I have to plan for this. That's something they don't tell you when you are thinking about having a kid - you have to work at getting drunk. You see, I can't stay out late because I have to get up early with the kid and doing so with a hangover really sucks. The last time I drank through sobriety was March 8th. The night I met Mark. I learned the best method was to show up, slam a bunch of shots, sip on a drink or 2 then slam water so I can be home at a decent time with no hangover. Oh, and eat a pb&j when I get home. It worked for me last Saturday at this party. I am way off topic here.
We left at a decent time... midnightish. Around 2am my brothers got in to it.
Jesse is a masochist (he probably does not know this).
Aaron just earned his green belt in Tai Kwan Do and apparently has some anger issues.
Jesse is 5'10" 140 lbs soaking wet.
Aaron is 6'3" 220 lbs.
I was very pissed when I learned that Aaron beat the shit out of Jesse.
Jesse lives in my house, in the basement apartment. I saw the damage and god dammit I was pissed. His ribs were bruised from arm pit to waist. His eye was black. He has bruises and scratched all over him. He was bleeding out of his right ear. His dead fathers wedding band was ripped off of his neck and his earrings were ripped out of his ears - all gone.
Aaron says he is not going to drink any more. This is not the first scene he caused. He gets drunk and all melodramatic. Jesse got in the way and wouldn't back off. He needs to back off the alcohol too. Stupid idiots. I'll kick Aaron's ass if he does this again. Kicking Jesse's ass would satisfy some fucked up need of his.
They BOTH need therapy.
My cuz had a bash for her son's high school graduation last Saturday. I went with Mark and we took Sadie after her nap until it was time for her to get ready for bed and then I intended on drinking to the point of not sober when we went back and succeeded.
I have to plan for this. That's something they don't tell you when you are thinking about having a kid - you have to work at getting drunk. You see, I can't stay out late because I have to get up early with the kid and doing so with a hangover really sucks. The last time I drank through sobriety was March 8th. The night I met Mark. I learned the best method was to show up, slam a bunch of shots, sip on a drink or 2 then slam water so I can be home at a decent time with no hangover. Oh, and eat a pb&j when I get home. It worked for me last Saturday at this party. I am way off topic here.
We left at a decent time... midnightish. Around 2am my brothers got in to it.
Jesse is a masochist (he probably does not know this).
Aaron just earned his green belt in Tai Kwan Do and apparently has some anger issues.
Jesse is 5'10" 140 lbs soaking wet.
Aaron is 6'3" 220 lbs.
I was very pissed when I learned that Aaron beat the shit out of Jesse.
Jesse lives in my house, in the basement apartment. I saw the damage and god dammit I was pissed. His ribs were bruised from arm pit to waist. His eye was black. He has bruises and scratched all over him. He was bleeding out of his right ear. His dead fathers wedding band was ripped off of his neck and his earrings were ripped out of his ears - all gone.
Aaron says he is not going to drink any more. This is not the first scene he caused. He gets drunk and all melodramatic. Jesse got in the way and wouldn't back off. He needs to back off the alcohol too. Stupid idiots. I'll kick Aaron's ass if he does this again. Kicking Jesse's ass would satisfy some fucked up need of his.
They BOTH need therapy.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Fuuuuhhhh... blah.
Remember how excited I was? Remember how I rolled in a pile of happiness about getting a new bedroom?
I ordered the furniture on Sunday afternoon. They told me they could have it at that location on Tuesday. I told them I could arrange a pick-up on Wednesday. I ran home and started a 3-4 day rush job to have the room cleared and painted before Wednesday after work. They called on Tuesday to tell me the bedroom set was in. Mom thanked them and told them we would be there tomorrow, Wednesday. I was up until after 1am working on the bedroom, but still had more work to do.
My excitement was carrying me through the hard work of painting 3 layers of three no four different paints over old dingy paint. I left work at noon Wednesday to finish the room, because I wanted everything to be PERFECT! Woo Hoo! A couple friends came over to help touch up and then I was done. Early even! I put the new sheets on the bed and Mark vacuumed. I washed the windows. It was almost time!!
I am sooo impatient, and I had to wait until 5pm for Maxx to come over with the truck. Maxx was held up 'till 5:30, and that 1/2 hour was torture lemme tell ya. Everything came together - I got Maxx, he had a truck, my brother was not working that night and was ready to go and I had Mark with me. We all jumped in 2 cars and went to pick up my furniture WOO HOO!
Fuckers closed their doors for the day for "inventory". Understand there were no cars in the parking lot. Maybe "inventory" was being done at the nearest fucking bar, I dunno. There was a hand written note one the door saying closed Wednesday. Will be open tomorrow. Tomorrow when nothing is going to come together. I wanted to throw a rock through their god damned window.
I was so pissed but I was also kinda crushed. I was sad. I was disappointed. I feel like I was set up. I had to go home and look at that empty room. I lost a 1/2 day of pay to do something I could have done that night. I felt like this always happens and I should never get excited. I know I should never get excited, because something always goes wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself and CRUSHED is a good word. All of my enthusiasm was gone. I don't get enthusiastic very often. And those assholes at TEC killed it in me.
I'm not trying to be a big baby. But I was so frickin happy! The let down hurt. I would have been happy staring in to space for the rest of the night and trying not to cry. Mark was there with me and attempted to cheer me up. I'm sure he said something that would probably make him feel better, like "at least you didn't get sprayed with bear piss", but I was still sad. Is that over the top? Am I supposed to ALWAYS take things in stride? I usually do, but then I usually go through my day without strong emotions, so whats there to be upset about?
Today Maxx was home, and his friend was with him and my brother didn't have to go to work until 5, so I grabbed an empty van from work picked everyone up and got the furniture. It looks nice. Big fucking deal. I think that SUCKS!! Why can't I feel enthusiastic again? I got the furniture! It's in my room. Everything is in it's place, except for the bedding, which is coming the 26th. I just wanna get it over with now. Bah. I have to get all of my stuff back in my room tonight. Maybe I will enjoy it. blah.
I ordered the furniture on Sunday afternoon. They told me they could have it at that location on Tuesday. I told them I could arrange a pick-up on Wednesday. I ran home and started a 3-4 day rush job to have the room cleared and painted before Wednesday after work. They called on Tuesday to tell me the bedroom set was in. Mom thanked them and told them we would be there tomorrow, Wednesday. I was up until after 1am working on the bedroom, but still had more work to do.
My excitement was carrying me through the hard work of painting 3 layers of three no four different paints over old dingy paint. I left work at noon Wednesday to finish the room, because I wanted everything to be PERFECT! Woo Hoo! A couple friends came over to help touch up and then I was done. Early even! I put the new sheets on the bed and Mark vacuumed. I washed the windows. It was almost time!!
I am sooo impatient, and I had to wait until 5pm for Maxx to come over with the truck. Maxx was held up 'till 5:30, and that 1/2 hour was torture lemme tell ya. Everything came together - I got Maxx, he had a truck, my brother was not working that night and was ready to go and I had Mark with me. We all jumped in 2 cars and went to pick up my furniture WOO HOO!
Fuckers closed their doors for the day for "inventory". Understand there were no cars in the parking lot. Maybe "inventory" was being done at the nearest fucking bar, I dunno. There was a hand written note one the door saying closed Wednesday. Will be open tomorrow. Tomorrow when nothing is going to come together. I wanted to throw a rock through their god damned window.
I was so pissed but I was also kinda crushed. I was sad. I was disappointed. I feel like I was set up. I had to go home and look at that empty room. I lost a 1/2 day of pay to do something I could have done that night. I felt like this always happens and I should never get excited. I know I should never get excited, because something always goes wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself and CRUSHED is a good word. All of my enthusiasm was gone. I don't get enthusiastic very often. And those assholes at TEC killed it in me.
I'm not trying to be a big baby. But I was so frickin happy! The let down hurt. I would have been happy staring in to space for the rest of the night and trying not to cry. Mark was there with me and attempted to cheer me up. I'm sure he said something that would probably make him feel better, like "at least you didn't get sprayed with bear piss", but I was still sad. Is that over the top? Am I supposed to ALWAYS take things in stride? I usually do, but then I usually go through my day without strong emotions, so whats there to be upset about?
Today Maxx was home, and his friend was with him and my brother didn't have to go to work until 5, so I grabbed an empty van from work picked everyone up and got the furniture. It looks nice. Big fucking deal. I think that SUCKS!! Why can't I feel enthusiastic again? I got the furniture! It's in my room. Everything is in it's place, except for the bedding, which is coming the 26th. I just wanna get it over with now. Bah. I have to get all of my stuff back in my room tonight. Maybe I will enjoy it. blah.
Monday, June 16, 2008
So excited!
I think I may have mentioned previously that I do not have any storage space in my house. I have a three bedroom bungalow, and at one time had the house to myself. My brother moved in to my basement, so all of my belongings came up stairs, mostly to my bungalow space. Then Sadie got my spare room, as well as my 2nd dresser and everything in that room went upstairs as well. THEN My mom moved in to my bungalow space. My room consists of a bed, dresser, broken night stand and a bunch of crap on the floor. There was no place for MY stuff!
My Christmas present from mom was paint to refinish my room and a bedding set. The paint has been sitting underneath a pile of random crap for months. I had no motivation to do anything with it. We just picked up sheets a couple weeks ago and I just need a cover to match the paint.
My mom and I went to TEC furniture, who are going out of business. I saw a bedroom set that I love and would look awesome in my room, once it is cleaned up. It was a great price and even though I feel kinda guilty spending moms money, she offered and I said yes!
For the first time EVER, I will have a new bedroom set.
Mark came over on his "lazy Sunday" and helped me paint the first coat on my room last night. Earlier yesterday I cleared my room. I bagged up 3 bags of clothes I don't wear. I put a bunch of stuff in boxes for a flea market we are going to work at the end of this month. I am so happy! My room is going to be nice. It's going to be Sadie proofed. It's going to MATCH. We are picking up the furniture Wednesday. I will take pics of the finished product. Woo hoo!!
My Christmas present from mom was paint to refinish my room and a bedding set. The paint has been sitting underneath a pile of random crap for months. I had no motivation to do anything with it. We just picked up sheets a couple weeks ago and I just need a cover to match the paint.
My mom and I went to TEC furniture, who are going out of business. I saw a bedroom set that I love and would look awesome in my room, once it is cleaned up. It was a great price and even though I feel kinda guilty spending moms money, she offered and I said yes!
For the first time EVER, I will have a new bedroom set.
Mark came over on his "lazy Sunday" and helped me paint the first coat on my room last night. Earlier yesterday I cleared my room. I bagged up 3 bags of clothes I don't wear. I put a bunch of stuff in boxes for a flea market we are going to work at the end of this month. I am so happy! My room is going to be nice. It's going to be Sadie proofed. It's going to MATCH. We are picking up the furniture Wednesday. I will take pics of the finished product. Woo hoo!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Music
There is a song playing in my head at all times. Any song does not usuall say in my head for more than a day. Sometimes I don't know the words. Sometimes it is a song that I recently discovered I liked. When I find a song I really dig I like to play it over and over, mostly because the real version is better than my version, plus the real version doesn't have to make up the words. So seriously. I play the song over and over. Like on repeat in my car for a long ride and every ride for a week, until my inner jukebox is sick of the song and will play something else. Is that normal?
Lemme see if I can attach the song that is currently torturing me. It makes me bounce!!!:
Discover Beck!
Shark Club Reply
On Friday, May 23rd I emailed the Shark Club. I posted the email here. This is their reply, which I received last night:
Thank-you for your concern. We do not decide what the aquariums have in them. We pay a great deal of money to have a company come out and take care of them. They have the say so on what they want in there. I don;t know how long you were coming in here, but we had several sharks and other sea creatures that all died, and we are unable to replace them do to the extream cost of over a $1000.00 a shark. It is not a gimmick to bring in business because we have had them for 4 years now and not one person has said that is why they came in here. I wish a few plants would drum up business.
Wow. They are obviously too retarded to take care of those tanks. I'm not going to reply, because it is a waste of time but... they don't have a say?? They PAY someone don't they? The people taking their money REFUSES to let the tanks look nice? They pay someone to care for the creatures, and when the animals die they have to pay again to buy live ones? They have NO CHOICE? How... what... I don't... ???? Is that possible? Is there blackmail involved or something? I think I established why no one says they come for the tanks. This person is an idiot and said NOTHING that made sense. It was defensive drivel.
Thank-you for your concern. We do not decide what the aquariums have in them. We pay a great deal of money to have a company come out and take care of them. They have the say so on what they want in there. I don;t know how long you were coming in here, but we had several sharks and other sea creatures that all died, and we are unable to replace them do to the extream cost of over a $1000.00 a shark. It is not a gimmick to bring in business because we have had them for 4 years now and not one person has said that is why they came in here. I wish a few plants would drum up business.
Wow. They are obviously too retarded to take care of those tanks. I'm not going to reply, because it is a waste of time but... they don't have a say?? They PAY someone don't they? The people taking their money REFUSES to let the tanks look nice? They pay someone to care for the creatures, and when the animals die they have to pay again to buy live ones? They have NO CHOICE? How... what... I don't... ???? Is that possible? Is there blackmail involved or something? I think I established why no one says they come for the tanks. This person is an idiot and said NOTHING that made sense. It was defensive drivel.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Baby Pic Comparison
Hmmm... I don't see it in the pics, but I think she looks like me, or some of the baby pics I have seen of me. Plus, how old was I here? I had had a haircut and lots more teeth... Maybe 2?
Sadie Update
I have been periodically email distand friends and family about Sadie's progress since she was born, with pics attached. Now I am blogging, so I will attach the latest and greatest:
Ok, well, she's already a month older, but I wanted to wait on the portrait pics.
Sadie is now a walker and talker, and of course a genius. She took her first steps before her birthday and was walking soon after. She says a handful of words. He newest one is EAT (eesh).
Sadie is still going to school 4 days while I am at work and especially likes Mrs. Ciciley. She spends Wednesdays with Aunty Tana and Kevin, Christopher and Jason. They love to spend time with her and feed her. I think they like to feed her a whole bunch cause she really loads her diaper up Wednesday nights.
Sadie likes to eat what mommy eats. She always steals my toast in the morning. Gramma would like to feed her cookies for breakfast every morning, but Sadie knows better. Sadie does not like beans of any kind cooked in any way. Works for me. She toots enough. She has discovered farting and burping is funny. She burped and got a reaction, so she forced another one and threw up instead. I about peed myself laughing so hard.
I think she may get her first haircut this weekend. See the pics and tell me if you agree!
Ok, well, she's already a month older, but I wanted to wait on the portrait pics.
Sadie is now a walker and talker, and of course a genius. She took her first steps before her birthday and was walking soon after. She says a handful of words. He newest one is EAT (eesh).
Sadie is still going to school 4 days while I am at work and especially likes Mrs. Ciciley. She spends Wednesdays with Aunty Tana and Kevin, Christopher and Jason. They love to spend time with her and feed her. I think they like to feed her a whole bunch cause she really loads her diaper up Wednesday nights.
Sadie likes to eat what mommy eats. She always steals my toast in the morning. Gramma would like to feed her cookies for breakfast every morning, but Sadie knows better. Sadie does not like beans of any kind cooked in any way. Works for me. She toots enough. She has discovered farting and burping is funny. She burped and got a reaction, so she forced another one and threw up instead. I about peed myself laughing so hard.
I think she may get her first haircut this weekend. See the pics and tell me if you agree!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
zzzzz... uh... Wha?
So, the Wings are Stanly Cup winners again. I watched it with Mark at Rob and Angie's house. It was very exciting, tho the win lacked the excitement that a crowd of fans brings.
Mark and I got to bed around 1 am. I forgot to wear a snore strip, and I don't even know if he noticed. I didn't! We spent the last minutes of the night reviewing who we wouldn't "kick out of bed for eating crackers". I appreciate Mark's taste for the most part. There was a couple disturbing ones, but hey, who am I to judge? I would do James Taylor and Tom Hanks!
Yesterday I went to a viewing of a friends father. Everyone was doing well and they had it together. Today was the funeral. Everyone was not so good. Harold will be missed dearly by his family. I am not one to show emotions, especially crying. I know if you feel like crying you should, so I try not to do what I can do... like put my mind elsewhere 'till the feeling passes. The 5 year old grand daughter who went up to say a few words about how much she loved her papa got me and then another grandchild, Christopher who is 25, asked his papa to take care of his mom who passed 3 years ago. Dammit. Doesn't that fucking suck? They are a close family and have felt a lot of loss. How can you not cry for them?
So, the message for today is be good, and love, and express your love. Bah... pussies.
Mark and I got to bed around 1 am. I forgot to wear a snore strip, and I don't even know if he noticed. I didn't! We spent the last minutes of the night reviewing who we wouldn't "kick out of bed for eating crackers". I appreciate Mark's taste for the most part. There was a couple disturbing ones, but hey, who am I to judge? I would do James Taylor and Tom Hanks!
Yesterday I went to a viewing of a friends father. Everyone was doing well and they had it together. Today was the funeral. Everyone was not so good. Harold will be missed dearly by his family. I am not one to show emotions, especially crying. I know if you feel like crying you should, so I try not to do what I can do... like put my mind elsewhere 'till the feeling passes. The 5 year old grand daughter who went up to say a few words about how much she loved her papa got me and then another grandchild, Christopher who is 25, asked his papa to take care of his mom who passed 3 years ago. Dammit. Doesn't that fucking suck? They are a close family and have felt a lot of loss. How can you not cry for them?
So, the message for today is be good, and love, and express your love. Bah... pussies.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Blah again
I'm just tired is all. The Wings kept me up 'till 1am, so I could watch them lose. A-holes!
My procedure, the colonoscopy, was lame. I mean I knew it would suck and it did, but the one good thing I was told to look forward to was the drugs.
I did my share of psychidelics in college. I smoked my share of weed 'till I started getting paranoid from it years ago. I liked drugs. I like to alter my state of mind. I don't do it anymore because I'm older and wiser and it just doesn't fit in to my lifestyle anymore. Plus I need to keep the few brain cells left. I used to say I was only killing off the weak ones, but I think maybe I started saying that after I killed some important ones!
So - I was looking forward to an altered state of mind. Free even! They gave me something, which did a bunch of nothing and some benadryl, which made me a little sleepy. Fuckers. I watched my innards on t.v. and THAT was cool, but I don't know that it was worth fasting for 33 hours while I "clensed" my intestines. I think I kept as positive as I could thru the whole thing. I told Mark to eat... the man should not lose any weight if he can help it, and I also suggested that we not hang out while I was fasting. I was a little irritable with mom, and think I made a wise decision by keeping Mark away.
Here is what they found of interest:
Yeppers - thats me!
My procedure, the colonoscopy, was lame. I mean I knew it would suck and it did, but the one good thing I was told to look forward to was the drugs.
I did my share of psychidelics in college. I smoked my share of weed 'till I started getting paranoid from it years ago. I liked drugs. I like to alter my state of mind. I don't do it anymore because I'm older and wiser and it just doesn't fit in to my lifestyle anymore. Plus I need to keep the few brain cells left. I used to say I was only killing off the weak ones, but I think maybe I started saying that after I killed some important ones!
So - I was looking forward to an altered state of mind. Free even! They gave me something, which did a bunch of nothing and some benadryl, which made me a little sleepy. Fuckers. I watched my innards on t.v. and THAT was cool, but I don't know that it was worth fasting for 33 hours while I "clensed" my intestines. I think I kept as positive as I could thru the whole thing. I told Mark to eat... the man should not lose any weight if he can help it, and I also suggested that we not hang out while I was fasting. I was a little irritable with mom, and think I made a wise decision by keeping Mark away.
Here is what they found of interest:
Yeppers - thats me!
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