Friday, April 4, 2008

Uninspired at Work

I can look at this job from a lot of different angles and most are positive, but nothing changes the fact that I struggle through work every day.

I have it made, really. I am the boss. I only answer to the owners. I have the only private office in the building. I can pick my nose all day, naked, if I wanted to . OK, well maybe not naked, but I wouldn't get fired if I showed up in a robe. I can come and go as I please and have no set time to arrive in the morning. My 3 assistants were interviewed and hired by myself and I like them all. It is a casual atmosphere, where we can pretty much say whatever we want to each other.

The work is easy. Mundane. Boring. Repetitive. I have been here for something like 4 1/2 years. With 3 assistants I don't even have that much work to do... well, that's not true. There is all kinds of stuff I should be doing, but it's a struggle to force myself to work. I do what I have to do and make sure that my assistants don't do anything to get me in trouble. They are, in a way, an extension of myself at least as far as the owners are concerned.

I... I don't know... I have a short attention span or something. I am bored easily. I am creative and enjoy doing things outdoors. I don't even really enjoy writing, tho I do have an internal dialog going at all times with a soundtrack running in the background, but here I am. Why? Because it's one more thing to do instead of making those collections calls or catching up on payroll. I long for the weekends and daydream about strolls in the park, but I spend most of my free time inside anyway.

So, anyway. I am obviously doing something I do not care about and I should be doing something else. If I knew what that was I would pursue it. I don't really know what makes me happiest. I'm a hands on type. Mechanically inclined. Creative. I enjoy teaching. I enjoy children. I love animals. The problem is a lack of DRIVE. What would excite me enough to go back to school?

1 comment:

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

Well, it's all about consistency. I mean, a math class or creative writing class are basically prerequisites for anything these days... just getting back on the horse without a goal in mind would be enough to help you figure something out...

For instance, I don't think I am ever leaving school. I mean, I am eventually going to have a career, but I will always have one class on the docket. Critical thinking skills, yo.