What a Difference

A month ago I was... blah. I had Sadie, who is my own personal rainbow, and a vehicle and a house and I have some good friends. I was getting through each day and thankful that nothing bad was happening.
What a difference a few weeks makes. If you would have told me that in less than a month I would be spending time with an intelligent, handsome man who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy his I would have said "yeah, right... pff".
I have many fears now, some of which are wrapped up in my need to control a situation and to not fuck things up, cause I want to be happy. I am enjoying myself. I have no doubt I have smiled more in the last month than I did all of last year. What if I say the wrong thing? It's stupid I know, but it's there.
OK SO - I am going to try my hardest to relax and enjoy the ride. I will shush my insecurities and enjoy intimacy, affection, and romance, all of which I have been deprived for too long. I will stifle my fear of rejection and express my affection freely. I will do this in the name of... Jesus Christ, someones lord and savior. Amen.